Infertility Support for Individuals and Couples
Does this sound familiar?
How many times have you heard family, friends or professionals tell you, “You have to relax and then you will get pregnant” Or, “If you stop trying so hard, ‘it’ will happen”?
You know in your heart of hearts these people have good intentions and want the best for you.
However, how many times did you roll your eyes or clam up after they said this to you? Do you feel more stressed after someone tells you to relax?
As frustrating as these responses are, there is some truth to this well-intentioned not so well-received advice.
How Emotional Stress Affects our Body
Emotional stress triggers our sympathetic nervous system. Once activated, our sympathetic nervous system reacts by:
In my therapy practice, we will focus on new stress management tools which will help you stay in your parasympathetic (also referred as the “feed and breed” response) nervous system and optimize fertility. Here are some examples of the tools used in sessions:
You may be one of those people that have great support and coping tools. However, when dealing with infertility, these resources may not be helping as much. Many people do no understand the unique thoughts and feelings associated with infertility. Women and their partners can feel overwhelmed, confused and alone during their struggle with infertility. Feelings of shame and fear can be prominent for many. These feelings come from a dark, hidden and vulnerable place inside of us which can limit our desire to seek support. If you do open up and express fears that are common, "Do I deserve to be a mom" or "What's wrong with me that I can't get pregnant", loved ones will typically respond by saying, "Of course, you will be a great mom. Don't be silly", "Nothing is wrong with you. Try to be more positive". Depending on how these responses are delivered, you may feel reassured. However, many may feel misunderstood or find themselves defending or explaining the way they feel. I believe it important you find someone who can hold that space and provide a safe, non-judgmental presence for you to face those dark thoughts, beliefs, feelings and explore the meaning or energy behind those fears. When you face your fears and insecurities, the feelings do not hold the power any more. You are able to release them and experience authentic healing, empowerment and a stronger connection to your 'self' again.
Resistant to counseling? How can a stranger help me?
People express resistance to attend counseling. They fear if they talk about it, they are being negative, dwelling on the problem or even fueling the problem by focusing on it. Unfortunately, when people do not develop a way to address their feelings and learn to deal with the issue directly, that particular feeling or issue gets stored within us. Even though we cannot see our feelings, our feelings are energy and they are very real! When you reunite with a loved one after time apart, you FEEL that feeling inside of you when you embrace. Same goes for the heavier and more difficult feelings. If we do not deal with those feelings, they end up renting space in our bodies. Imagine how our physical and mental body can be impacted by the accumulation of stored negative emotions.
Why choose me as your therapist?
I have both personal and professional experience dealing with infertility. These experiences have deepened my understanding and sensitivity, but I know that each individual's journey is different. Counseling provides that space and presence I mentioned above. You don't want to go to a counselor for more advice. You get enough of that already. You want someone to allow, validate and explore your experience, through your perspective. Once you develop awareness, power comes from expressing it. Then, you can set the intention to change.
I have witnessed incredible changes and outcomes when people finally face their fears and find a way to learn from them rather than run from them. Another strength I posses, as a therapist, is having done my own 'work' in therapy. I know what it feels like to not only experience vulnerability and fear but also the healing transformation and changes one can receive when you finally do so. I was actually able to recognize and FEEL the transformation. I literally felt lighter when I integrated the new insights, beliefs and behaviors into my life. What is that saying, "I don't just talk the talk. I walk the walk". :-)
You know in your heart of hearts these people have good intentions and want the best for you.
However, how many times did you roll your eyes or clam up after they said this to you? Do you feel more stressed after someone tells you to relax?
As frustrating as these responses are, there is some truth to this well-intentioned not so well-received advice.
How Emotional Stress Affects our Body
Emotional stress triggers our sympathetic nervous system. Once activated, our sympathetic nervous system reacts by:
- Decreasing digestion
- Constricting blood
- Increasing heart rate and breathing
- Increasing blood sugar
- Suppressing immune functioning
- Stimulating amygdala which increases our fear/perceived danger response
In my therapy practice, we will focus on new stress management tools which will help you stay in your parasympathetic (also referred as the “feed and breed” response) nervous system and optimize fertility. Here are some examples of the tools used in sessions:
- Mindfulness training
- Self Regulation
- Positive thought restructuring
- Mind-Body connection
- Yoga and other physical activity
- Guided imagery
- Building support system
You may be one of those people that have great support and coping tools. However, when dealing with infertility, these resources may not be helping as much. Many people do no understand the unique thoughts and feelings associated with infertility. Women and their partners can feel overwhelmed, confused and alone during their struggle with infertility. Feelings of shame and fear can be prominent for many. These feelings come from a dark, hidden and vulnerable place inside of us which can limit our desire to seek support. If you do open up and express fears that are common, "Do I deserve to be a mom" or "What's wrong with me that I can't get pregnant", loved ones will typically respond by saying, "Of course, you will be a great mom. Don't be silly", "Nothing is wrong with you. Try to be more positive". Depending on how these responses are delivered, you may feel reassured. However, many may feel misunderstood or find themselves defending or explaining the way they feel. I believe it important you find someone who can hold that space and provide a safe, non-judgmental presence for you to face those dark thoughts, beliefs, feelings and explore the meaning or energy behind those fears. When you face your fears and insecurities, the feelings do not hold the power any more. You are able to release them and experience authentic healing, empowerment and a stronger connection to your 'self' again.
Resistant to counseling? How can a stranger help me?
People express resistance to attend counseling. They fear if they talk about it, they are being negative, dwelling on the problem or even fueling the problem by focusing on it. Unfortunately, when people do not develop a way to address their feelings and learn to deal with the issue directly, that particular feeling or issue gets stored within us. Even though we cannot see our feelings, our feelings are energy and they are very real! When you reunite with a loved one after time apart, you FEEL that feeling inside of you when you embrace. Same goes for the heavier and more difficult feelings. If we do not deal with those feelings, they end up renting space in our bodies. Imagine how our physical and mental body can be impacted by the accumulation of stored negative emotions.
Why choose me as your therapist?
I have both personal and professional experience dealing with infertility. These experiences have deepened my understanding and sensitivity, but I know that each individual's journey is different. Counseling provides that space and presence I mentioned above. You don't want to go to a counselor for more advice. You get enough of that already. You want someone to allow, validate and explore your experience, through your perspective. Once you develop awareness, power comes from expressing it. Then, you can set the intention to change.
I have witnessed incredible changes and outcomes when people finally face their fears and find a way to learn from them rather than run from them. Another strength I posses, as a therapist, is having done my own 'work' in therapy. I know what it feels like to not only experience vulnerability and fear but also the healing transformation and changes one can receive when you finally do so. I was actually able to recognize and FEEL the transformation. I literally felt lighter when I integrated the new insights, beliefs and behaviors into my life. What is that saying, "I don't just talk the talk. I walk the walk". :-)